Finding a Partner Doesn’t Have to be Stressful
How to Ask Someone Out
Some people seem to get dates easily, but for those who lack confidence in themselves, the prospect of putting themselves out there and getting rejected is terrifying. Whether you’ve already been turned down for dates in the past or are just afraid you will be, you shouldn’t let fear get in the way of a potentially meaningful connection. We’re here with helpful advice on how to ask someone out.
The first thing you need to do is psych yourself up. You can handle rejection more easily if you plan for the worst-case scenario; know that if you don’t get the answer you want, you will survive. Plan to treat yourself to a fun activity with a friend if things don’t pan out. Then give yourself a pep talk and remind yourself that you are just as worthy of love as anyone else. If your crush doesn’t want to give you the time of day, that’s their loss.
Decide how you want to approach the subject and work out what you want to say. You might even want to write it out and practice in front of a mirror. If you’re feeling extra nervous, enlist the aid of a close, trusted friend who won’t make fun of your insecurities. This person can listen to you practice and give you advice about how to improve your technique.
Next, you’ll need to decide what method you want to use to ask for this date. An in-person inquiry may be the most personal approach, but if you find that too intimidating, there are other ways to go about it. One way is to ask this person over the phone. You may want to invent an excuse for calling, such as a question about work or class, before launching into your actual invitation.
Another possibility is sending an e-mail or even a traditional letter. With an e-mail, you might receive a reply the same day; there’s more waiting with snail mail, but it also carries with it a touch of elegance. Either way, writing your invitation out ensures that you will be able to say exactly what you intend to say, with no worries about nervousness making you tongue-tied. Additionally, if the note is not well-received, a written rejection is usually a softer blow than one delivered in-person or on the phone.
No matter what method you use, dare to take a step outside your comfort zone. It could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.